A few weeks ago, I had a chip in my windshield repaired. Nothing dramatic – just one of those mundane errands you fit between work emails and grocery runs. I was half-listening to a podcast, mindlessly scrolling on my phone in the waiting room, when the service was done.
At the counter, the person taking my payment apologized: “I’m sorry you had to hear that. We’re having a bit of an issue in the office.”
Truth be told? I hadn’t heard a thing. But their tone said enough. Something had gone sideways behind the scenes. A workplace conflict, audible or not, had leaked into the customer experience. I didn’t witness the disagreement, but I felt the tension.
That’s how conflict works. It doesn’t have to shout to be heard.
When conflict spills over
Most organizations underestimate just how visible their internal friction can be. Whether it's a heated hallway conversation, an eye-roll in a team meeting, or a tense email chain CC’d to too many people, conflict can quietly (and quickly) erode trust, morale, and even your reputation.
But here's the kicker: most people don’t know what kind of conflict they’re dealing with – and that makes it hard to fix.
That moment in the repair shop had me wondering: What was going on in the back room? A process breakdown? A personal clash? Competing priorities? I didn’t ask. But I’ve seen enough workplace conflict to know that if they don’t get to the root of it soon, it’ll keep seeping out.
The 5 sources of conflict (and why they matter)
One of the tools I share in training is based on a model developed by noted mediator Christopher Moore. It outlines five common sources of conflict, and it’s surprisingly practical – especially if you’re someone trying to lead or support a team.
Knowing which type of conflict you’re facing helps you focus your response and avoid making things worse. Here’s the short version:
1. Data Conflicts
Cause: Lack of information, different interpretations, or misinformation.
How it shows up: Disputes over project deadlines, metrics, or decisions based on incomplete data.
What helps: Clarify the facts. Share information. Ask questions before jumping to conclusions.
Example: Two technicians at the repair shop disagree on which customer is next in line because they're working from different versions of the schedule – one digital, one handwritten. The issue isn’t the attitude; it’s conflicting information.
2. Structural Conflicts
Cause: Power imbalances, limited resources, unclear roles, broken systems.
How it shows up: Fights over budget, workload, or scheduling.
What helps: Adjust systems, clarify roles, improve fairness and transparency.
Example: The tension in the office stems from a staffing shortage – only one receptionist covering front desk duties, phones, and walk-ins. The structure of the workflow is overloaded, creating constant stress and friction.
3. Relationship Conflicts
Cause: Personality clashes, past baggage, poor communication.
How it shows up: Tension, avoidance, blame, or frequent misunderstandings.
What helps: Build trust. Listen actively. Address the emotional layer.
Example: The two employees heard arguing have a history. One feels micromanaged, the other feels like they’re always cleaning up messes. Their dynamic spills out in public, even when the actual disagreement is minor.
4. Values Conflicts
Cause: Differing beliefs, priorities, or worldviews.
How it shows up: Arguments that feel personal or moral.
What helps: Acknowledge the difference. Focus on coexistence, not conversion.
Example: One team member believes customer service means staying calm and accommodating no matter what. Another believes in setting firm boundaries with demanding clients. These clashing values lead to internal conflict, and customers pick up on the tension.
5. Interests Conflicts
Cause: Conflicting needs or desires – often hidden beneath the surface.
How it shows up: People dig in their heels over “what they want.”
What helps: Get curious. Ask why they want what they want. Look for shared interests.
Example: One employee wants to leave early to attend a child’s school event; another needs the same time off for a personal appointment. Both have valid needs, but the shop can’t run with both gone – and the resulting conflict reflects their underlying interests, not just the schedule.
So, what was really happening in that waiting room?
I don’t know what the conflict was about that morning – and I don’t need to. But I do know this:
If the team back there knew what kind of conflict they were dealing with, they’d have a much better chance of resolving it. Instead of guessing, avoiding, or blaming – they could take a focused approach.
Most of us weren’t taught how to do this. That’s why so many managers and teams get stuck. They’re trying to fix people when they should be fixing systems. Or they’re trying to clarify data when the issue is actually emotional. Or they’re having a surface-level debate about schedules when the real conflict is about values.
That’s when tension leaks into meetings, email threads, and yes – waiting rooms.
Bottom line
You don’t have to be a conflict expert to handle tough situations well. But if you want to reduce workplace tension (and stop it from spilling onto your clients), start by identifying the source.
Because when you know what kind of conflict you’re dealing with, you’ll know what kind of solution to reach for.
And that makes all the difference.
Want to learn more about how this model could support your team? Visit resolutiongroup.ca to explore our workshops and coaching.
About Tammy
I help teams and organizations navigate conflict – whether it's just starting to surface or already affecting morale and results. My work blends mediation, coaching, and training, with a focus on building real-world conflict competence. With a background in marketing and management, I understand the messiness of communication across roles, personalities, and power dynamics. The goal? A workplace that works – for everyone.